


Going Home for the Holidays

by agentlukaofshield (lukadarkwater)



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: But mostly Fitz, Christmas, Cuddling & Snuggling, F/M, FitzSimmons Secret Santa, Fluff, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, Perthshire, mama fitz because everyone, needs her in our lives, sometimes a boy just needs his mama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-10-01 22:12:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17252333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lukadarkwater/pseuds/agentlukaofshield
Summary: They’re standing at the edge of the city, all of their worldly possessions sitting in two suitcases at their feet, and she reaches out to take his hand again.“Let’s go home, Fitz.”Or; sometimes you just need to go home------Work written for Jemmablossom on Tumblr for the Fitzsimmons Secret Santa.





	Going Home for the Holidays

The first Christmas after the team brings Fitz back from outer space, they go home.

It’s an easy decision to make, one that takes little more than a look between them to decide upon. They’ve given so much to Shield – too much to Shield – and it’s time for a break.

The team understands. It’s hard not to, Jemma thinks, after they have witnessed all that has transpired over the years.

It’s a month before Christmas when Mack loads their things into the quinjet and Daisy hugs them goodbye. She’s still cautious around Fitz, even though she knows this isn’t the same one, but Jemma can see her try as hard as she can to put that aside for the moment.

“Promise you’ll stay in touch,” she says, stepping back to stand by Elena. “I want to hear all about The Fitzsimmons Family Christmas.”

They nod and she smiles and then they are off.

The ride itself is quiet. Fitz has been slowly coming to terms with everything over the past couple of months and it’s a lot to process. Even without that, Jemma knows that he still carries so much guilt and sorrow in his heart.

He spends most of the time on the plane either sleeping or fiddling with anything he can get his hands on. He’s always had nervous hands, always needed to be touching or moving something, and that much hasn’t changed. Once upon a time, he played with his wedding ring but he hasn’t put that back on – or she supposes, on at all – since they found him.

They had talked about it, of course, because Jemma hadn’t taken hers off. She had offered to get married to him as soon as he wanted but he held back.

“I want to do it when the time is right.” he had said and she couldn’t fault him.

They had a lot to work through, after all.

“But…”he had said, holding her hand and spinning her ring slowly around her finger, “One day. I promise.” And that was all she needed.

When they finally land, Fitz jerks awake with the motion of them touching down. He’d been dozing against her shoulder and flashes her an apologetic look but she simply shakes her head and takes his hand.

Mack lets them off, after helping them with their suitcases, and gives them final hugs before wishing them a Merry Christmas. He says nothing of when they’ll be coming back and they don’t offer him a timeline. Jemma’s not sure it’s even on the table at this point and they won’t be making any promises until Fitz is okay again.

After the quinjet vanishes into the air, she turns to him. They’re standing at the edge of the city, all of their worldly possessions sitting in two suitcases at their feet, and she reaches out to take his hand again.

“Let’s go home, Fitz.”

 

Linda Fitz’s home sits on the outskirts of one of the suburbs of Glasgow. It’s a home that Jemma has probably spent as much time at as her own since she became Fitz’s friend and the sight of the blue painted walls are almost enough to make her cry when they come into view.

Fitz’s hand trembles in her own, and she gives him a squeeze. He doesn’t shake very often now, not really, but when he does, she just hangs on tighter.

They walk up to the stoop slowly, it’s been years since either of them have seen their parents, and Jemma is the one to press the doorbell.

The familiar chime sounds and it’s not long before she can hear the clanking of bolts being turned and then, suddenly, there she is.

Fitz had once told her that he looks like his father. We have the same eyes, he said, curled up with her one evening while they were at Sci-Ops. But Jemma has never really seen it.

To her, Fitz looks so much like his mother. They have the small curly hair, the same small build, and the same incredible capacity to love.  

Jemma had told her they were coming, had sent her an email a couple of days before explaining that they were taking a leave of absence from Shield,  and her response had been unwavering joy at the idea of seeing them again.

Linda had loved her like a daughter from the very first moment that Fitz brought her home to meet her during one of their breaks at school. She had been so incredibly nervous back then, so scared that the mother of her best friend, the one person that Fitz loved more than anyone else in the world, wouldn’t like her and she remembered panicking the whole flight up to Scotland.

However, Linda had instantly welcomed her into their home, had fixed her up with as much tea as she could possibly drink, and had loved her ever since.

“Anyone who means so much to Leo, means the world to me,” she had told her once, a few years later. “You’re always welcome here, dear,”

And now, standing in front of this same woman, Jemma feels her throat close up as the overwhelming feeling of home hits her.

Linda is beaming as she looks between the two of them but, when her eyes fall on Fitz, it softens into something so incredibly tender that Jemma feels like a little girl again.

“Leo, dear, come give your mum a hug.”

That’s all it takes for Fitz to break and the next thing she knows, Linda is cradling his head to her chest as he sobs against her.

She’s muttering soothing words into his hair, her hand running up and down his back as they sway slightly on the spot. Jemma stands there and watches them for a long moment, her heart too full to speak, before Linda opens up her arms again.

“You too, love. I’ve missed you so much.”

It’s later, after they’ve moved inside of the house, after Linda has fed them and fussed over Fitz, that they sit all sit in the living room sipping tea.

Fitz has his head on his mother’s lap, and her hand is softly scratching his back in the way that Jemma knows he likes. He’s mostly asleep, every now and again he’ll lazily blink or shift around, but, for the first time in months, he’s at peace.

She’s curled up on the loveseat basking in the same sensation, when Linda speaks.

“I know you won’t tell me what’s happened,” she begins, voice soft, “And I don’t really want to know but-“ she hesitates, “I’ve never seen him this way. Even when you were…. Gone, he never got this bad.”

Jemma swallows around the lump in her throat. “I know.”

Linda nods “I know you do, love. You know my son better than anyone. So, I was wondering, are you planning on going back?”

It’s a hard question to answer and so she doesn’t.

“I don’t know.”

 

That night, they sleep in Fitz’s childhood room.

Linda has kept it exactly the same since she last saw it. The old, faded NASA and Academy posters still hang on the walls and the ceiling is speckled with glow-in-the-dark stars and planets (arranged in the correct orbits and positions of course) that have been there since before Jemma met him.

The bed has been changed out from a twin to a full but, other than that, Jemma feels like she could be stepping into a time capsule when she enters the room.

A small cluster of photo frames sit on the top of his dresser. There’s pictures of his mum and some people they were friends with at the Academy and Sci-Ops but, mostly, it’s them. It’s them at the Academy, still learning to be friends and awkwardly posing in front of the park where they ate lunch with his mum when she came to visit. It’s them at their first apartment at Sci-Ops standing in front of their first kitchen table, so proud and excited to finally be adults. And it’s them when they first entered Coulson’s team. Standing together in front of the B.U.S.

Jemma is sure he’s not meant to have that picture but it’s harmless enough now. The people in those photos are so young and carefree and she can’t help the ache that enters her chest when she remembers how light they used to be once upon a time.

She’s pulled out of her remembering as Fitz walks into the room. He’s just come from the shower, she can smell the warm scent of water and shampoo that lingers on his skin, and his eyes flick up to meet hers for a second.

“Everything okay?” he asks, voice soft as it always is these days.

“Yeah,” she responds, “Just remembering the old days.”

He nods, his eyes lingering on the photos for a moment before he climbs into bed.

He had asked, the first night after they found him, if she wanted to sleep apart from him. The idea had been so devastating to her that she had almost crumbled to the ground. She had spent months apart from him, aching for him, for his touch, and the idea of depriving herself of that now was far too painful.

He hadn’t asked her that again.

She slips into bed easily, as if nothing had changed since the first time she had done it, and turns onto her side to face him.

He’s staring back at her, the darkness making him bold in a way he’s usually not anymore, and he reaches out to hold her hand across the sheets.

Jemma clings to him. She missed him so much over the past year but now, laying in his childhood bedroom with him dozing off across from her, she makes a vow to never let him go again.

 

They spend the next week at Linda’s house letting her baby them to her heart's content. She cooks for them, does their laundry, and even forces Fitz up out of the house to go grocery shopping with her.

Jemma knows right away that bringing him home was the right decision.  Fitz has been so closed off and despondent with her as of late but, now that he’s home surrounded by the safely and security that only a mother came bring, he slowly begins to open up.

It’s in small ways at first. He’ll smile at a joke that Linda makes, or ask for a second helping of pie (which Linda gives him easily, grousing about how skinny he is), or even reach out and hold her hand or put his arm around her and it’s not quite like the old days yet but it’s getting there.

Linda doesn’t ask any questions about Shield, she doesn’t pry into what’s happened, but Jemma catches her sometimes talking softly to him when she’s out of the room. She catches the tail end of one of these conversations as she’s coming back from the loo and realizes that she’s been talking to him about his father.

It’s always been a tricky subject with Fitz, something that Jemma knows he’s struggled with his whole life and, given recent events, she knows he worried about it more than ever so she’s thankful that Linda has taken it upon herself to talk to him about it.

The talks do seem to help. He stops flinching every time he looks at her leg and, when she goes to curl up on his chest one night, he only pulls her closer to him. She could weep with happiness as she lies on him for the first time in ages and feels his steady heartbeat under her hand.

It’s only after this that she broaches the idea of therapy with him. He agree almost right away, and she’s thankful that he’s willing to try.

She gets in contact with Daisy who, after a couple of pictures of them helping Linda set up the tree, agrees to help them find someone qualified who will speak to them over the internet.

The result is an old ex-Shield officer who goes only by the last name of Miller. He agrees to take them on and Jemma finds that that his gruff and honest nature is exactly what she needs.

They take turns every couple of days talking to him for an hour and then they go into their couples session. It’s hard and painful and sometimes she doesn’t know what to say but then, after the second week, Miller sits back in his chair and nods.

“Now, we’re getting somewhere.”

 

It’s a week before Christmas when she sees it.

She’s been scrolling through the internet, reacquainting herself with the outside world for the first time in years, when she stumbles upon a listing for a house.

It’s a three bedroom, two bathroom, cottage that is in dire need of repair on the outskirts of a town in Perthshire. The owners had abandoned the property some years back and the entire thing needed to be redone but Jemma couldn’t help but look at the small brook that babbles by in the backyard and the adorable dormer windows and fall in love.

For the first time, she sees it.

She sees their future.

 

Christmas arrives before either of them know it.

Linda spends most of the day before prepping for the Christmas feast she is going to make and relegates Jemma and Fitz to ice the cookies that she pulls out of the oven.

It’s nice to watch him work again, even on something as mundane as precision icing, but Jemma finds that she can’t look away as his brow crinkles up like it always does when he’s concentrating and he finishes far more of the cookies than she is able to.

They awake on Christmas day to a fresh, crisp layer of snow outside of Fitz’s window. She lays there for a moment, breathing in his warm smell, and she feels his arm squeeze her shoulder softly.

She tilts her head up and looks at him. He’s still slightly sleepy, his curls have gotten long again and are sticking up haphazardly, and she feels her heart give a little tug as he smiles at her. It’s not the same listless smile that she had gotten from him for the first few months after finding him, it’s a real smile. Full of warmth and love and she returns it easily.

He lets out a sigh, bending his forehead down to rest against hers, and she swears her heart stops as he mutters a soft “I love you” into the air between them.

It’s the first time she’s heard it in so long and she can’t help the happy tears that spring to her eyes at the sound of it.

“I love you, too,” she whispers back, her hand coming up to rest of his face.

His eyes are soft and he leans down even more until she feels his breath wash against her face.

“Happy Christmas, Jemma.”

“Happy Christmas, Fitz.”

“Can I…” he hesitates, but she’s already nodding.

“Yes, you can.”

He smiles once more and then leans forward and kisses her. It’s soft and slow and she all but melts into him at the feeling.

When he pulls away she doesn’t let him go far instead she keeps him close, holding him to her until she hears Linda calling them for breakfast.

With some reluctance, they untangle themselves and stand up but Fitz keeps ahold of her hand and doesn’t drop it until they reach the kitchen table.

Christmas goes smoothly. They stuff themselves with Linda’s cooking and then sit around and listen to the Queen’s speech before finally moving on to the presents under the tree.

Linda protested that they didn’t have to get her anything but Jemma managed to pop down to the shops earlier that week and pick up a few things for her. Fitz had also fixed up her old tea kettle so that it didn’t leak anymore and Linda gives them both a bunch of clothing as well as a photo album full of pictures of them from over the years.  

Just as things are winding down, Tessa sneaks over to the tree and plucks the tiny present she had hidden in the branches the night before.

Linda watches her with knowing eyes (after all, Jemma had consulted with her before doing anything) and nudges Fitz away from the photos to look at her.

Fitz looks in confusion as she places the tiny box on his lap.

“I thought we agreed no presents this year,” he says, obviously confused

“I know, but this is more of a present for the both of us,” she assures him, “Go on, open it.”

Fitz opens the little box, careful not to rip the paper too much, and that’s how she knows he’s realized that this is something bigger than what is inside of the box.

He blinks in surprise when he uncovers the tiny house ornament inside. It’s a small thing, with a snowy room and a thin gold ribbon on top

“Jemma, what is this?” He asks, spinning the small ornament around on his finger.

“Fitz,” she says, reaching out and taking his free hand in hers, “I know it’s been a hard couple of years and the past has laid heavy on us all this time. But-“ she takes a breath “But I want to focus on the future now. With you. And this, “she takes the house out of his hand and opens it up along the latched side, “this is it.”

Inside, is a small key with the word “Home” engraved on the surface.

Fitz picks it up and inspects it before looking at her.

“I bought us a house. It needs a lot of work and it won’t be ready for a while a but… I want to make a home with you there, Fitz. In Perthshire. I want us to build our future together.”

Fitz’s eyes have gone watery and his hand trembles in hers.

“I don’t… I don’t know what to say,” he manages, his eyes alight with hope and joy for the first time in so long.

“Say yes, Fitz. Let’s take this next step, together, just you and me. Okay?”

“Okay,” he nods, “Yes, I want to build a home with you. Just you.”

She’ll pulling him into her arms before he even finishes speaking and happy tears, for once, are running down both of their cheeks. Linda is crying too, she realizes when she looks up at the older woman, and she’s beaming at the both of them.

“Welcome home, loves, welcome home.”

 

A year later, they celebrate Christmas in their new home.

It’s taken the better part of a year to do the renovations but, finally, they have it exactly as they want it.

Linda and her parents come up for the holiday and Deke drops by the day before and Jemma can’t control the peace and happiness she feels as she looks around at her family.

She knows Fitz has hidden a ring in the tree, had spotted the small box when she came down for breakfast that morning, but she doesn’t feel a need to rush into opening it.

After all, they have their whole lives ahead of them.

This is only the beginning.

**Author's Note:**

> I had so much fun writing this fic.   
> It's been hard to get back into the flow of things after season 5 so I enjoyed the return to the universe.   
> Here's hoping that Fitz (and Jemma) get the healing they need next season.   
> Thank you for reading!


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